My recent trip in Beijing really changes my mindset of a lot of wrongful thinking.
The experience begins when I was dining in a small restaurant. I ordered my food and waited for almost 15 minutes. A couple who came in about the same time sat next to my table, had also waited for almost the same time. The man started to raise his voice “Service personnel, what kind of service is this? So slow? What kind of service attitude are you providing?” When one of the service staff was attending to them, he verbally abused her for her attitude and poor service, and demand that his food should be served now. Another waitress walked pass, and I politely stopped her, requesting that she assist me in getting my order as I am hungry. The man at the next table laughs and told me that with my politeness, it will take forever for me to get my food. “Over here (in this country),” he said “you must demand and you will get what you want.” I told him that culture can be change, and his reply “Oh yeah! Next life!” and went on laughing at my naiveness. But guess who got his food first?
This is Peter Ng. Welcome to my motivational series – Awakening the Power within You – You Can Be Who You Are.
Yes, mine came first. He was furious, and started yelling at the staff, claiming that they came first and why am I having my food first. The staff ignores him and went on with their chores.
But Peter, what do you mean when you mentioned at the starting statement that you have lots of wrongful thinking? Good question.
I was in Shanghai last year, and my friends over there told me that I must behave likewise, yelling at the service staff, demanding service, refusing to pay the full price due to poor service, etc. There is a popular verse which taught us, ‘When you are in Rome does what the Romans do.’
But it is not me to yell or pass sarcasm remarks on people, and living with a lack of integrity. So, why do I need to change my behavior, my attitude, and my personality – not for the better, but for the worse – just because I am in that particular location or with those companions? Another question, “Does it make me feel comfortable?” Am I myself?
I love one great verse which I have learnt “No temptation has overtaken you and laid hold on you that is not common to man. But God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance and power to endure, but with temptation, there is always a way out, that you may be capable and strong and powerful to bear up under it patiently.”
It’s always easy to blame someone else or outside forces for our actions. We hear people all the time who tell us, “Working in this place, you need to fight for survival, so don’t show compassion to others.” “The boss here never shows appreciation, that’s the reason why you shouldn’t work hard here.” “My parents live in fear and anger, so that’s the way I’m behaving as well.”
Those statements are probably true, and they may explain why we suffer, and it’s sad that people should have to go through such pain in their lives.
Yet, we don’t have the right to blame other people or circumstances for our behavior. We can’t use them as an excuse to stay in bondage. Our weakness is one of our greatest excuses for not being able to be ourselves, and always trying to be someone else. We need to stop feeling sorry for ourselves, shifting blame, and ignoring situations. We don’t need to live in fear, always feeling that our problems are too much for us to handle. We must have a ‘can-do’ attitude. Tell yourself aloud now “I can do whatever I need to do whenever I need to do it.”
Our problems are personal and they are often internal. They involve our thoughts and attitudes. The results – the outward behavior – flow from those thoughts and attitudes. A person with confidence will always remember who he/she is, and need not be changing to be someone else all the time. You can be who you really are!
