I find a great deal of comfort in thinking about who I used to be and who I have become. It helps me not to be discouraged when I make mistakes or find that I still struggle over some challenges. I’m greatly encouraged when I consider where I started and where I am now.

Too many people are living far below their potential than how they are living now, because they have not learned to control their thought, and also gotten too comfortable to want to make a commitment to change.

One of my coachee said to me, “It simply didn’t occur to me that I needed to direct my mind and keep it healthy and positive. I need a mind change. I don’t like being the way I am, letting my mind go wherever it wants.”

It is a familiar echo I have been hearing, and I simply asked “So, you didn’t like being the way you are, you want more control over your thoughts, and wanted a mind change. What are you doing to make a conscious change?” She gives me a blank look and answered “That’s why I am here! I want you to change me!”

One of the major flaws in the 21st century is that we want quick-fixed into all our problems. One thing we need to remember is we cannot change people; people need to want to change themselves.

All human success comes from certainty, consistency, and commitment.

Certainty

It all starts in our hearts and minds. We have to believe that we have what it takes. We have to believe that we have a gift, that is uniquely yours and which you could bring with you everywhere you go and contribute to other people’s lives.

Stop blaming your unhappiness on the way others behaved. Stop telling yourself that if they would change and just be a little more sensitive and caring to my needs, they would be able to see how they could help me and make my life easier.

Think about what you are thinking about! Most of the time, our thoughts centered around ourselves and our needs. We had thought that if they – the other people in our lives – changed, we would be happy. Let’s admit that even if they changed (on that particular behavior), we will find something else to be unhappy about.

Words are powerful. They can create barriers in your heart and mind. You must quit looking at what you do not have, and start believing that all things are possible. The key is to get your eyes off your problems, blaming other people or the circumstance, and focus into your potential; and to keep your focus fixed on where you are going (areas committed to change).

Stop self-condemnation and criticism, and stop listening to voices of accusations. Unless you set yourself mentally free, you cannot be physically well, and you cannot be emotionally happy. Hurt people hurt people; angry people angers people.

If we concentrate our thoughts on good things, we will be building up certainty in our mind. This would empower us to look at things differently and in a positive manner. The potential (gift) is inside you. It doesn’t change just because you don’t believe it or just because you’ve been through some negative experiences in the past. The key to rising higher is to keep looking where you want to go. Don’t focus on your yesterdays; keep a positive vision and see yourself accomplishing your goals and fulfilling your destiny.

Certainty requires us to be consistent in our thinking patterns; taking bold steps; and creating the momentum to change our life for the better.

Consistency

What happened in your past is not nearly as important as what is in your future. Stop realizing your past in your life today. Do not allow your yesterdays to steal your joy today, and do not allow your tomorrow make you lose focus of today. Quit mourning over something you cannot change, and start making a commitment to consistently creating the momentum to improve yourself.

“Wait! Peter, I think you have contradicted yourself – first, on certainty, you said ‘to keep your focus fixed on where you are going’ and in this segment, you wrote ‘do not allow your tomorrow make you lose focus of today’.”

Keep your focus fixed on where you are going is to provide yourself a sense of directions and to make conscious effort of areas you want to improve and challenges to accomplish.

‘Allowing your tomorrow make you lose focus of today’ is undue influence and unnecessary worries that hold us back from progressing. There are people who have in their mind constantly with ‘What if’s” – ‘What if I cannot change?’; ‘What if I failed and everyone dislikes me?’; ‘What if people think poorly of my performance and force me to leave my job?’; What if …

Constant focusing on ‘what if’s’ creates fear and stun us from progressing in life and discourages us from making any improvements and hinders the will to change.

As you move forward on your journey from where you are to where you want to be, you are going to have to confront your fears. Unfortunately, most people let fear stop them from taking the necessary steps to achieve their objectives. Successful people feel the fear along with the rest of us but will not let it keep them from doing anything they want to do – or have to do. They understand that fear is something to be acknowledged, experienced, and taken along for the ride.

Some people will do anything to avoid the uncomfortable feeling of fear. If you are one of those people, you run an even bigger risk of not getting what you want in life. Most of the good stuff requires taking a risk. One of the famous quotes which I always hold on whenever I feel afraid is from Jimmy Johnson, Coach of Dallas Cowboys football team, “Do you want to be safe and good, or do you want to take a chance and be great?”

Another important key to reaching your full potential is putting yourself in an environment where the seed can grow. Our ‘gifts’ are seeds in our life, and these seeds need to be cultivated in the right environment for it to grow and to bloom. It is who and what you identified with. You cannot hang out with negative people and expect to live a positive life. This is extremely critical, because it does not matter how great the potential in the seed, if you do not put it in good soil, it will not take root and grow.

Anything worth doing well is worth doing badly in the beginning. Remember when you first learned to drive a car, to ride a bicycle, to play an instrument, or promoted to the role of a manager? You understood in advance that you were going to be very awkward at first but that awkwardness was just part of what was required to learn that new skill that you wanted.

Well, not surprisingly, this initial awkwardness applies to anything you undertake, so in order to strive yourself to a higher level, you have to willing to go through that awkward stage in order to become proficient.

You can become hugely successful doing what you love if you are willing to pay the price. If you are involved in network marketing, you have to put in countless hours in the beginning, not getting paid what you are worth. You may work for months with no real income, but eventually you are making more money than you ever imagined possible. Creating momentum is an important part of the success process. In fact, successful people know that if you are willing to pay the price in the beginning, you can reap the benefits for the rest of your life.

Commitment

Each person is essentially self-made. The person you are may have been determined by your childhood experiences. But the person that you become, the person that you may be, is completely under your own control. As established in the earlier two C’s – you become what you think about most of the time – it is not your thinking of the past, or your thinking in the future, that determines the course of your destiny. Everything you are, and everything you will be, is determined by the thoughts and the actions at each moment now. You can take complete control of those thoughts and actions at any time you decide to – but you need to make a commitment to the areas of your life that you truly wanted to change and to make a tremendous improvement; and you need to discipline yourself to the commitment made.

Self-discipline is the ability to make yourself do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not. Self-discipline is the key to self-mastery and self-control. The more capable you become of disciplining yourself to do what you have decided to do, whether you feel like it or not, the more positive and powerful you will feel.

There is a direct relationship between self-discipline and self-esteem. The more you discipline yourself to behave in the manner that you have decided, the more you will like and respect yourself. You will feel more positive and confident, and you will become stronger and more in charge of your life and situation. Like working a muscle, your ability to discipline yourself to behave in the way that you have decided grows stronger each time you exercise it.

Remember, commitment to change and to grow is a form of responsibility. You must response to it with your conscious ability. Take small steps to change. If you cannot take responsibility in small things how then can you entrust yourself to take responsibility for major things in life?

In Conclusion

Perhaps the most helpful mental habit you can develop is the habit of optimism. You become what you think about most of the time, and to stretch yourself to a higher level, you need to think about what you really want and how to get it, most of the time. Think about where you are going and how to get there. Combine the optimistic-thinking pattern and discipline with positive actions makes you happy and positive, which increases your energy and releases your creativity. It motivates and stimulates you to perform at higher levels! Now is the time to stretch yourself to a higher level and becoming the better you!