Jane approached me after my seminar on ‘Power of Positive Living’, “I’m very tired, you know, I am always sacrificing my own happiness so that I can make others happy. But no matter what I do, I can’t seem to make people satisfied.” “I can’t seem to get along with anyone! Why are people so hard to please?”

This is Peter Ng. Welcome to my motivational series – Awakening the Power within You – Me; Myself; and I.

“Not that I don’t want to provide for my loved ones but I have so many things to do – and yet, people are always demanding my attention.”

Often, unhappy people say they are sacrificing their own happiness so they can make others happy. But the principle of life is – You cannot give away what you don’t have. You cannot make other people happy if you are unhappy with yourself every day. If you want to improve the quality of the life of anyone else, begin by improving the qualities of your own inner life.

Fully 85% of your happiness in life is going to come from your relationships with other people. We live within the context of the people in our lives. How well we get along with them, and they with us, largely determines the quality of everything that happens to us.

Make others feel important – when you put people first, it opens up relationships. Making others feel important satisfies the deepest subconscious cravings of human nature. Everything you do or fail to do can be judged against this standard. How can you always said that you love someone but when come to doing something important and urgent for that person, you do it at your convenience and always putting yourself first?

Elevate others – human beings are basically emotional beings, we are positively affected by people who say and do things that make us feel important and valuable. Everything a person does or says that raises our self-esteem and feelings of personal value causes us to like and respect ourselves more, and makes us feel happier about ourselves. As a result, we feel positive toward the person who is elevating us emotionally whether in words or in deeds. When you make a conscious effort of developing the habits of speaking and acting that make people feel important and valuable, all kinds of doors will open up for you, and you will be welcomed everywhere you go. People will like you more and respect you, and want your presence. Everything you do to raise the self-esteem of others raises your self-esteem as well. The reverse is also true. Everything you do or say that hurts another person whether intentional or otherwise, making them feels less important or lower their self-esteem also has the same effect on you. This is why most negative people suffer from low self-esteem, negative self-image, frustrated and difficult to get along with others.

Learn to accept others the way they are – you need not like everyone or try to fall in love with every person you meet. The simplest way to express acceptance of another person is simply to smile each time you see the person. Make a habit of practicing unconditional acceptance with everyone you meet, under all conditions. You will be amazed at the positive effect you have on the people around you.

Compliments and Praises – Develop the habit of admiration. Make it a habit to admire the traits, qualities, or possessions of other people. Everybody likes a compliment and appreciate a sincere and genuine praise.

Magic of Listening – pay attention to people when they talk. People who are too much of themselves do not hear the other person clearly and often misremember the contents of the discussions, leading to arguments, accusations and inefficiencies. Listening need discipline.

Balance between Life and Work – maintain your priorities. Learn to claim responsibilities, not rights. Continually fighting for your rights in an imperfect world can make you resentful, angry, and bitter. Stop worrying about your rights; turn your focus on what’s right and your responsibilities to others. Create quality time with your loved ones; and remember – action speaks louder than words. Stop the habit of focusing only on your self-achievements, doing things at your convenience, and based solely on your personal desires – Me; Myself; and I is, indeed, a very lonely philosophy in life.